Growing and Grieving
Back in 2019 I remember telling people that I was a work in progress and that I would try to be better with my smart mouth and petty ways in 2020. In my mind, 2020 would be the year of clear vision – where I would find exactly what is meant to be and see things as they really are! Who knew I was right and wrong all at the same time?!
For me, 2020 hit me hard walking in the door!!! My sweet grandmother, whom I’m named after (Emma Lee) was sent home with hospice care and it was just a waiting game of if and when she would get better. Every time my mother would call me, I would hold my breath – and my stomach too – waiting for what she would say. Then on January 13, 2020 the matriarch of our family transitioned. That’s the word my mother used to prepare me and I will never forget it.
The thing about grief is, you never know how you will react until it happens. Maybe the facts that my granny had been in the hospital getting radiation for a tumor, and had suffered multiple strokes because of it, put me in the state of mind that she would suffer no more. She had lived to be 95 years and that in itself is a blessing. Deep down, I think we all knew this day would come. But even so, we were saddened to know the person you could call for anything, who would tell you the right thing to do whether you liked it or not, who would always tell you to be nice, was gone. The memories of her and just her soft voice in our heads continue to bring comfort in knowing she is not suffering through Covid restrictions and we were able to be with her during her last days.
After my grandmother’s passing, I vowed to spend more time with family and friends. If someone invited me to something, I would make every effort to go. If we needed a break, we would plan a vacation. First event – a Roaring 20s themed Mardi Gras ball! My husband and I traveled to Biloxi, Mississippi for the first time ever to celebrate the end of our friend’s reign as the krewe queen. We danced the night away then headed off to the Beau Rivage casino where we turned a few pennies into about 50,000 pennies!
Covid Hit Like a Tyson Bite
(Ya Didn’t See That Coming!)
Just when I had planned a camping trip to Jellystone for spring break, the city got shut down! This was a shut down I have never experienced before. What we thought would be two weeks is still ongoing nine months later. This forced me to tap into talents I didn’t know existed. I became a teacher, curriculum and time management specialist, chef, personal assistant, maid, office manager, and honestly a sweat pants wearing hot mess!
First I experimented with my hair….
Then a little lesson in overcoming and avoiding girl drama….
Then more wine of course, along with unnecessary snacks….
Then a paradigm shift…
Which led to the birth of a book series….
Then the reality of a black woman as the Vice President of the USA!!
A quarantined Elf….
And as if I didn’t have enough madness going on and things to clean and put away, I get a dog for the jobless children….
One thing is for certain – change is inevitable. And that’s exactly what 2020 forced us to do. We learned how to adapt to change in circumstances, change in people, and change in thought processes. Therefore, in 2021, we plan to embrace each day as a challenge, accepting that we don’t know what is to come. But each day we wake up, we are here once again to do something. So let’s get busy!
Stay focused on something that makes your heart smile, surround yourself with people who make your cheeks hurt from laughing, and prepare for the future you would desire if the pandemic never hit. You can do it! Write it down, then do one thing at at time until our dream becomes reality! I can’t wait to see what you will accomplish!
As we prepare to close this year and cleanse ourselves of the muddy thoughts we have of 2020, we would like to take a moment to wish you and your loved ones a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year! 🎊🍾❤️
Be Blessed! Be Bold! Be Fly! And by all means, Be You!!! 🦋